Good Enough
by W5Lex
Summary: Booth sees love in her eyes, and realises he must do something about it.
1. The look that changed things

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Bones or any of its characters. If I did, then Booth would wear less clothes, I'd have lots of money, and this fic probably wouldn't be here.**

**A/N: Okay so this is my first fic. I hope someone enjoys it… particularly as it's my first, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd be especially interested to hear how you thought I did in terms of keeping Booth and Bones true to their characters. Let's see how it goes…**

**Chapter 1: The look that changed things.**

There it was. The look that changed things. The look that would likely ruin the relationship he'd grown to cherish over the months. Booth turned to meet Brennan's stare, confirming in an instant what he'd suspected for weeks.

As she met his gaze, she deliberated over the recent changes. The truth was, there had been none. Nothing significant, no defining moment, she'd just… grown to love him. The physical attraction had always been there, and for Booth there'd always been more. _He'd_ felt the intellectual connection for months, the connection that meant there was more; a romantic side to their relationship. But he'd done his best to ignore it, and found that he could. Sure, it was with some difficulty, but without confirmation that she felt the same, he'd managed.

Booth realised now, that he had to make the decision, the decision to love her, or leave her, though he was certain that the latter would not make leaving the former behind, any easier.

He looked up, into Brennan's eyes again, and she immediately saw the conflict. She may be no good at psychology, but all the physiological indicators were there. The sad eyes, the creased brow, the hunched shoulders, she could see something was wrong. The smiled she longed to see whenever it _didn't _play on his lips was missing, replaced by an anxious expression, one that was unfamiliar when seen on the face of Seeley Booth. He still looked handsome as ever, but the familiar cheekiness was absent, an expression of mild misery there instead.

**A/N: Please review. I'd love to hear what you think so far. Lex x.**


	2. Inexplicable frustration

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed in the short time this has been up, and also anyone who added it to their alert list. Here's the next chapter…**

**Chapter 2: Inexplicable frustration.**

The partners had been sat in the diner for the best part of an hour, putting the finishing touches on a case they'd recently finished and catching up. It was with a start that Booth pushed himself onto his feet, "I'm sorry Bones," he looked at the floor nervously, "I have to go." Before Brennan had a chance to ask, he was gone. She watched helplessly as he climbed into the SUV and drove away. She watched the spot where he had been in bewilderment, she couldn't understand – his behaviour was unfamiliar. It wasn't often that he would be so abrupt, offering no warning that she'd been doing anything wrong. Booth was mostly straightforward; it was one of the many things she loved about him. He didn't see it, but he was rational in his own way. He acted on what _he believed_ to be almost as reliable as fact. And when it was Booth reading the expressions of the people he interrogated, he wasn't far off; it was only very rarely that he was wrong. Therefore, despite the difference in definition, Brennan liked to believe that, _most of the time, _Booth was almost as rational as herself. She looked down at her hands for a minute, trying to sort through her thoughts, trying to pin down a reason for the curious behaviour.

She loved him, she knew that now. And she was fairly certain he loved her back, God knows, Angela had been gushing about it for months. She couldn't yet be certain that a relationship was what she wanted, not when it would pose such a threat to their successful partnership, but none of this offered an explanation to his behaviour. She combed through the details of the recent case, trying to remember something she'd done, or something she'd said, anything that could have caused offense. She came up with nothing. Honestly, this was the first time she'd been in love – though her relationship with Sully had come close – and she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

Brennan sat there alone for half an hour, trying to think of the cause of Booth's strange behaviour. When nothing offered itself, she left, walking the short distance home, and passing the evening in a daze. She was in bed within an hour, having showered and changed without really noticing what she was doing. By the time it was morning, she'd only managed to increase the confusion.

By the time Booth got home, his eyes had welled up enough that he knew he shouldn't have been driving. With an inexplicable anger and frustration, he slammed the car door shut behind him and headed inside, not bothering to turn a light on before slumping into the sofa in the darkness. He lifted his feet and banged them down on the coffee table in front him, folding his arms and shutting his eyes immediately. He didn't fall asleep for hours, preoccupied with the intense contemplation. It was with a sadness, that Booth came to his conclusion. _Leave. I have to leave. _When he thought of a relationship with the woman he loved, he could only ever see it ending badly. It was the same as with all women, his past would tear the relationship apart, they wouldn't be able to cope with what he'd done, so he wouldn't tell them. And then, eventually, it would eat him up, he would feel undeserving of her, and the relationship would end. He'd chanced it in the past, allowing himself to be close, but he wouldn't do it to Brennan. He loved her too much to hurt her, and if never seeing her again would prevent that, then he would do it.

Booth was woken by a sharp knock at the door. He jolted upright, hand darting towards the gun he'd left in front of him before realising that the noise was just a knock on the door. He'd fallen asleep on the sofa, the light now pouring in through the windows. Slowly, stretching out his muscles as he moved, Booth extended an arm towards the door.

**A/N: Once again, please review and let me know what you think so far. **

**P.S. This'll get happier, promise. **


	3. Shed a tear

**Chapter 3: Shed a tear.**

"Bones?" The sight of her beautiful face immediately brought the feelings of last night flooding back to him, and he found himself picking out the same flicker of love from her expression. He cursed to himself silently, wishing she'd never come to realise her feelings for him. He knew it would only be a matter of time before Angela convinced her to tell him how she felt, and before he was forced to break her heart. Maybe it would come even sooner than he had feared. _Maybe,_ it would be better to cut it short.

"Booth. I need to talk to you." She stepped into the room, resisting the urge to lift a soft hand to his tired face, to smooth out the creases that had appeared when he'd seen her. She'd driven over here as soon she'd realised he wasn't going into work. The receptionist at the FBI had said they hadn't heard from him so she'd driven over.

"Booth, I- I'm sorry if I upset you."

"No Temperance. It's not-" Brennan flinched at Booth's use of her first name. She wasn't accustomed to him speaking it, and she didn't like it. Bones had become her _real _identity. It was the name she could count on. After reconnecting with her father, and finding her whole life had been a lie, she'd clung to the nickname. She knew she could rely on it, rely on Bones, to stay the same. And the name gave her comfort, hearing it signalled_ he_ was close. The one she loved. "I can't do this anymore. Any of it." Brennan looked back, expressionless, growing more and more worried that this argument was different to the others, that this one _meant _something. He paused for several seconds, eyes on the floor. "I'm in love with you. I have been for months."

Brennan heard herself as she took a sharp breath. She took a step towards him, but he took one back, maintaining the distance between them. "Booth. I don't understand. I lo-"

He cut her off, "Don't say it." He knew hearing the words out loud would only make it harder for both of them. "Temperance, I'm no good for you. I- I've killed people. And-"

This time it was Brennan's turn to interrupt. "Booth, I know."

"No, no you don't. I mean you do, you know I've killed people. But you don't know the circumstances. You don't know the guilt I feel, the nightmares I have, the sheer dread that shoots through me every time I pull the trigger. Temperance, you deserve more, much more. I can't do it, I can't enter into this relationship, knowing that it'll end with you getting hurt. I won't do that to you, I'm not good enough for you." He finally dragged his eyes up to meet hers. He would punish himself for this for months, maybe longer. The look in her eyes told him that ironically, the thing that was supposed to stop him from hurting her, _had _hurt her. Booth knew he was wrong for letting things go on as long as they had.

Brennan stood in shock, unable to speak. She opened her mouth, then let it close when she realised nothing would come out. "Temperance, I'm sorry, really I am." He walked towards the bedroom without another word, eyes fixed on the floor, ashamed of what he'd done, and closed the door behind him, leaning against the back of the door and slumping to the ground. He sighed in defeat as he sat silently, shedding a tear for the love he'd lost.

That had been it. That had been the last conversation they'd had in two months. Brennan had come into work the next day to find Angela sat in her office, looking uncharacteristically solemn. She'd guessed what it was as soon as she'd said his name. Booth had asked for their partnership to be terminated, to be partnered up with another agent from the FBI, and Brennan's heart had sunk. A small part of her had clung to the hope that maybe he wouldn't do this. That maybe their working relationship was more important than that. She had been wrong.

**A/N: Bare with me. Next chapter is the turning point. Pleaaassee review. Interested to hear what everyone thinks so far…**


	4. With her muse gone, there was nothing

**A/N: This is just a short chapter, sorry about that. Will definitely be updating tomorrow. As always, please review. Lex x.**

**Chapter 4: With her muse gone, there was nothing.**

The FBI had asked Brennan and her team to consider working with another agent, but she'd declined immediately, knowing full well that no one would ever match up to Booth; neither as an agent, nor as a friend. That hadn't been the last time they'd asked but she'd given the same response every time.

The yearning she'd felt for him had faded. No, faded wasn't the right word. It had dulled. All emotion had dulled, she felt nothing. No happiness, no sadness, no anger…nothing. The complete elimination of him from her life, had almost made it feel like he wasn't there, as though he'd ceased to exist after he'd left her life. She'd spent as many hours as she could in the lab, barely going home at all, hoping that a day would come when he'd walk right back into the Jeffersonian lab, calling her name as if nothing had changed. Even the book had been put on hold, with Brennan unable to continue writing about the 'brilliant and insightful' Andy Lister. With her muse and inspirational days at work gone, there was nothing to write about.

Then it hit her. Two months and two days after the night their relationship had fallen apart, it suddenly dawned on her that it wasn't his decision. Booth had no right to decide whether he was a good enough man for her. She'd worked with him for months, and if he thought that she was going to stand back and allow him to throw it all away because he was too stubborn to let her make her own mind up, then he had another think coming…


	5. Tell me

**Chapter 5: Tell me. **

It took less than two minutes for Brennan to push herself out of bed and pull on a jumper, grab her keys, and hurry out of the door. As she drove, she thought about what she was going to say. She came up blank; he did that to her. She could feel the beat of her heart, as the feelings she'd been suppressing for months began to resurface. Only once, in the entire time she'd spent alone, had the possibility that Booth was right crossed her mind. It had come to her the night after their conversation and she'd dismissed the thought as quickly as it had come. The thought hadn't crossed her mind since. As she pulled up outside his apartment, all she thought about was his face, the beautiful face she hadn't seen since that night. The image spurred her on.

She ran towards the door, through the darkness, and pressed the buzzer. Her finger held it down for ten long seconds, as she refused point blank to take no for an answer. "Booth. It's me. It's Bones. Let me in."

There was silence on the other end of the intercom until, several seconds later, the door began to buzz. She pushed it open and took the stairs two at a time, lifting a hand only to realise the door was already open. She looked at him for a long moment, tears in her eyes as the feelings came flooding back. "Tell me." She said the statement as if it were that simple. "Tell me the things you've done. Let _me _decide if you're a good enough man for me."

Booth opened his mouth to speak, but came up with nothing. He moved out of the way of the doorway to let her in. "Can I get you a drink or anything?" He paused to take in her unorthodox appearance, letting out a tiny smile, tiny but still the first genuine one that had escaped in months. She stood in front of him in a ratty pair of trackies, a hoodie that was far too big for her, and a pair of running trainers. He examined her face, taking in the tired rings below her eyes, and hoped that he wasn't the cause. Despite this, he held back a sigh that the sight of her provoked. He hadn't seen anyone more gorgeous in the months they'd spent away from each other.

"Booth. Come here. Sit down and tell me. Tell me your stories."


	6. Stories

**Chapter 6: Stories.**

"_Booth. Come here. Sit down and tell me. Tell me your stories."_

He didn't need to question, he knew exactly what she was referring to. He stared at her in silence for a second, reluctant to tell her the things that he was convinced would send her away. He went over to the second sofa, deliberately sitting out of arms reach. Booth sighed in defeat and realised he had nothing left to lose. Besides Parker, he'd lost the most important person in his life, and if doing this, if telling his painful stories, had the potential to get her back, then he'd do it. At worst, she'd leave and they'd go back to how they'd been the last couple of months, as if they'd never known each other. At best, she'd force him to accept that he _was _a good enough man for her, and well…

Booth had been so distraught and miserable since he'd forced her out of his life, that he found himself too selfish to consider whether what he said could have further implications for Brennan. He leant forward to rest his forehead in his hands.

"Where do I start?" He wasn't sure what was best. Slowly work his way up, or start with the worst.

Brennan looked at him, still absolutely certain that nothing he said was going to change the way she felt.

"Start with the worst. And don't stop talking until you're sure that you've got it all out of your system." She winced a little, unsure of whether she'd used the phrase correctly. He couldn't help but smile at that; it was the little things he'd missed.

He slowly nodded, still not sure whether this was wise. If Brennan reacted the way he was sure she would, then there would be no going back. No chance of them ever being friends again. "Ok." He gulped; he'd never told anyone the stories he was going to be telling his best friend. Booth thought for a moment, trying to think of the best way to brooch the subject. "I was in Iraq and…" he decided against giving all of the unnecessary details. "We got shot at… There were four of us, and we just about managed to take them all out… There were a lot of them; we must have already killed seven or eight people. And then… as we turned to retreat, I noticed a woman, she must have been about thirty. She was carrying a child on her hip, with a grenade in the other. She lifted her hand, she was about to throw it towards us, and I shot her. I got a clean hit, she died instantly… But as she hit the ground, the grenade exploded, and her child fell to the floor. He… Bones, he didn't die quickly. He lay there for a few minutes before he went limp, before he was dead." The speech was riddled with nervous pauses, left open for Booth to compose himself, as well as to offer Brennan the chance to stop him. Booth took a gulp and reluctantly looked up from his hands, only now realising the tears in his eyes. He wiped them away with a swipe of the hand and looked back into Brennan's eyes.

Brennan let the sadness cross her face. She wasn't going to pretend that the events were meaningless, because they weren't. But in truth, she felt worse about Booth, about him beating himself up over it, suffering in silence, than anything else. His misconstrued perception of the world and his actions, put the weight of the world on his shoulders, and that wasn't how it should be. He kept eye contact, unsure of what to do next.

"Keep going." Booth returned his gaze to the floor, and Brennan listened intently for the next two hours as Booth told her about the kills. She couldn't remember any point during the evening when his eyes were dry, but determined to finish, and determined not to guilt Brennan into telling him what he wanted to hear, he stopped the sobs from escaping, only very occasionally looking up to check that she was still there. When he was finally finished, he looked up at her again, eyes closed waiting for a response.


	7. Look at me

**Chapter 7: Look at me.**

_When he was finally finished, he looked up at her again, eyes closed waiting for a response._

"Booth." Nothing. "Booth. Look at me." He slowly opened his eyes and trained them on her. "You don't understand." She stood up slowly, repositioning herself on the sofa next to him, still not touching. "You manipulate the world," manipulate wasn't the right word, but she couldn't think of a better one, "you manipulate it in your mind to place the blame on you. The way I see it, the rational way, the way that makes sense, is you killed every one of those people out of care for those around you. Not once, have you ever killed someone for the sake of it, or even to save your _own_ life. You've done it out of courage, to save the lives of those around you, and for that you shouldn't be guilty."

She lifted his hand from where it lay on his knee and held it in both of hers, "Booth, I know what you think of yourself, but I also know you're wrong. And everyone who has ever worked with you would agree."

"Bu-" She cut him off, placing a finger to his lips. He let his gaze return to hers and his eyes melted her. She looked into the sad dark eyes, and her heart told them they were bottomless. For one moment, she pushed aside all rationale, and looked into them. Slowly, she leaned forward, and replaced her finger with her lips in a kiss so soft that it could barely pass as one. As they pulled apart, he let his eyes open again. "Booth. I know you think you don't deserve me, but you do, you deserve more. I want to be here for you." His words from earlier came back to her, "I want to relieve you of your guilt, I want to fall asleep with you lying next to me, and I want to wake up in your arms. Let me love you."

Booth blinked away another tear and lifted his free hand to Brennan's face, softly stroking it. Slowly and carefully, he leaned in to kiss her, moving the hand to her neck. He revelled in the warmth of her body, and for that moment, even _he _believed that maybe things weren't his fault. If a woman as rational and as caring as Bones could understand and forgive the things that he'd done, then maybe he should try to do the same.

He slowly pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers, keeping his eyes closed. "I love you Bones." She felt his forehead crease a little as he smiled and couldn't help but do the same.

"I love you too." Booth leant back into the sofa with a sigh, and held Bones, _his Bones, _to his chest. He closed his eyes and began to plan the next day. He already knew what the first task would be; _partner up. _

**A/N: That's the last chapter. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed. There were plenty more who added me to an alert or favourite list, so please review if you haven't already (or if you just wanna leave another one). Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Lex x.**


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